The Puck

Hey nerds I’m back in the badly postured writin chair fuckin up my back again after a bit of a break so hi first up. It been a long time since I used my blog for its intended purpose, which was to give you all some bad writing advice which you all so sorely need cos’ you all writing so good, so here some wisdom luv ya.


The process never changes. You(me) push yourself real hard to get something done, decide to take a short break to recover, then stop writing for a month or two getting all blocked up on your own juices. There’s only one way to get back on the horse and it aint pretty (the way not the horse, all animals are beautiful).


It’s like when you forget to take a dump over the weekend and then you can’t do it during work on Monday for anxiety reasons and suddenly you gotta push out three days of compacted digesteds at once. The next 500 words are gonna be as dreaded and necessary as that shit.


It will make you sad. It will make you angry. It will make you react in all the ways you want the audience to from your beautiful and heartfelt words.


It will be the worst thing ever written.


Good news is after you’ve pushed through you’ll be as close to right as rain as you ever are and you can move on to a fun story about lizard people and ogresses or whatever tickles your grandma. You should delete whatever crap you wrote and definitely never show it to anyone. Anyway here’s mine:




Please god let me write something


Woop here we go


Never thought I’d turn 30.


I was a kid when I first started thinking about killing myself.


All kinds of crazy and didn’t see much for me but the afterlife.




^ anxiety spasm




when I was thirteen I would write stories with me as the main character


but I’d always die at the end.


^ caps lock used to be automatic but now only works like sometimes? I get that I feel it


I spent my teenage years in some kind of hell


And my twenties in outer space


Now I’m here


And here is good


Here I have space to be happy


And pain is temporary


^there the caps lock is working again I don’t know. Like half my day is figuring out if I dreamed my problems (exaggeration)


wondering now If I’ll post this one or delete it


maybe just keep writing it


I wish I had the words to explain what life has been to me


Not trying to be dramatic shit’s just been real weird


And I can only explain snippets


And a lot I may have made up. Not even close to sure now

If I had my time again there’s definitely stuff I would have done different


But it aint work that way and there’s no point thinking about it


I say aint a lot because I read too much achewood when I was severely depressed


I would stay awake until the sun rose reading the archives and only go to sleep when the sun came up because I was terrified of monsters


I was twenty I think


Medication has been a godsend


Still unsure about posting this


Could be useful as a like this is my process thing


Might be more useful to get my sword out (not dick joke) do some magic and write something good


Good example of how weird my life is


Like I can’t just sit and write a cool fantasy story and be happy about it


I gotta make a fool outta myself in the process


Ah shit lost my train of thought


I was actually gonna write a heartfelt post about suicidal ideation and try and help people


Here’s some advice then


Don’t stop writing for six weeks or you gonna have to push out the blocked up shitwad in your brain and then hate yourself for how far you’ve fallen


Funny I guess


More advice


Use everything


Every last moment is your ammunition


If life tears you apart heal your heart into one big fat muscle to crush your pain


Spite yourself into a continued existence if you have to


Anything is better than being dead

I wanted to say it in a nice way




Yeah defs gonna delete this one

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