The Puck

Hey nerds I’m back in the badly postured writin chair fuckin up my back again after a bit of a break so hi first up. It been a long time since I used my blog for its intended purpose, which was to give you all some bad writing advice which you all so sorely need cos’ you all writing so good, so here some wisdom luv ya.

 

The process never changes. You(me) push yourself real hard to get something done, decide to take a short break to recover, then stop writing for a month or two getting all blocked up on your own juices. There’s only one way to get back on the horse and it aint pretty (the way not the horse, all animals are beautiful).

 

It’s like when you forget to take a dump over the weekend and then you can’t do it during work on Monday for anxiety reasons and suddenly you gotta push out three days of compacted digesteds at once. The next 500 words are gonna be as dreaded and necessary as that shit.

 

It will make you sad. It will make you angry. It will make you react in all the ways you want the audience to from your beautiful and heartfelt words.

 

It will be the worst thing ever written.

 

Good news is after you’ve pushed through you’ll be as close to right as rain as you ever are and you can move on to a fun story about lizard people and ogresses or whatever tickles your grandma. You should delete whatever crap you wrote and definitely never show it to anyone. Anyway here’s mine:

 

Firty

 

Please god let me write something

 

Woop here we go

 

Never thought I’d turn 30.

 

I was a kid when I first started thinking about killing myself.

 

All kinds of crazy and didn’t see much for me but the afterlife.

 

Giufghsiuafsjngafs

 

^ anxiety spasm

 

haha

 

when I was thirteen I would write stories with me as the main character

 

but I’d always die at the end.

 

^ caps lock used to be automatic but now only works like sometimes? I get that I feel it

 

I spent my teenage years in some kind of hell

 

And my twenties in outer space

 

Now I’m here

 

And here is good

 

Here I have space to be happy

 

And pain is temporary

 

^there the caps lock is working again I don’t know. Like half my day is figuring out if I dreamed my problems (exaggeration)

 

wondering now If I’ll post this one or delete it

 

maybe just keep writing it

 

I wish I had the words to explain what life has been to me

 

Not trying to be dramatic shit’s just been real weird

 

And I can only explain snippets

 

And a lot I may have made up. Not even close to sure now

If I had my time again there’s definitely stuff I would have done different

 

But it aint work that way and there’s no point thinking about it

 

I say aint a lot because I read too much achewood when I was severely depressed

 

I would stay awake until the sun rose reading the archives and only go to sleep when the sun came up because I was terrified of monsters

 

I was twenty I think

 

Medication has been a godsend

 

Still unsure about posting this

 

Could be useful as a like this is my process thing

 

Might be more useful to get my sword out (not dick joke) do some magic and write something good

 

Good example of how weird my life is

 

Like I can’t just sit and write a cool fantasy story and be happy about it

 

I gotta make a fool outta myself in the process

 

Ah shit lost my train of thought

 

I was actually gonna write a heartfelt post about suicidal ideation and try and help people

 

Here’s some advice then

 

Don’t stop writing for six weeks or you gonna have to push out the blocked up shitwad in your brain and then hate yourself for how far you’ve fallen

 

Funny I guess

 

More advice

 

Use everything

 

Every last moment is your ammunition

 

If life tears you apart heal your heart into one big fat muscle to crush your pain

 

Spite yourself into a continued existence if you have to

 

Anything is better than being dead

I wanted to say it in a nice way

 

Haha

 

Yeah defs gonna delete this one

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