Hey nerds I’m back in the badly postured writin chair fuckin up my back again after a bit of a break so hi first up. It been a long time since I used my blog for its intended purpose, which was to give you all some bad writing advice which you all so sorely need cos’ you all writing so good, so here some wisdom luv ya.
The process never changes. You(me) push yourself real hard to get something done, decide to take a short break to recover, then stop writing for a month or two getting all blocked up on your own juices. There’s only one way to get back on the horse and it aint pretty (the way not the horse, all animals are beautiful).
It’s like when you forget to take a dump over the weekend and then you can’t do it during work on Monday for anxiety reasons and suddenly you gotta push out three days of compacted digesteds at once. The next 500 words are gonna be as dreaded and necessary as that shit.
It will make you sad. It will make you angry. It will make you react in all the ways you want the audience to from your beautiful and heartfelt words.
It will be the worst thing ever written.
Good news is after you’ve pushed through you’ll be as close to right as rain as you ever are and you can move on to a fun story about lizard people and ogresses or whatever tickles your grandma. You should delete whatever crap you wrote and definitely never show it to anyone. Anyway here’s mine:
Please god let me write something
Woop here we go
Never thought I’d turn 30.
I was a kid when I first started thinking about killing myself.
All kinds of crazy and didn’t see much for me but the afterlife.
^ anxiety spasm
when I was thirteen I would write stories with me as the main character
but I’d always die at the end.
^ caps lock used to be automatic but now only works like sometimes? I get that I feel it
I spent my teenage years in some kind of hell
And my twenties in outer space
Now I’m here
And here is good
Here I have space to be happy
And pain is temporary
^there the caps lock is working again I don’t know. Like half my day is figuring out if I dreamed my problems (exaggeration)
wondering now If I’ll post this one or delete it
maybe just keep writing it
I wish I had the words to explain what life has been to me
Not trying to be dramatic shit’s just been real weird
And I can only explain snippets
And a lot I may have made up. Not even close to sure now
If I had my time again there’s definitely stuff I would have done different
But it aint work that way and there’s no point thinking about it
I say aint a lot because I read too much achewood when I was severely depressed
I would stay awake until the sun rose reading the archives and only go to sleep when the sun came up because I was terrified of monsters
I was twenty I think
Medication has been a godsend
Still unsure about posting this
Could be useful as a like this is my process thing
Might be more useful to get my sword out (not dick joke) do some magic and write something good
Good example of how weird my life is
Like I can’t just sit and write a cool fantasy story and be happy about it
I gotta make a fool outta myself in the process
Ah shit lost my train of thought
I was actually gonna write a heartfelt post about suicidal ideation and try and help people
Here’s some advice then
Don’t stop writing for six weeks or you gonna have to push out the blocked up shitwad in your brain and then hate yourself for how far you’ve fallen
Funny I guess
Every last moment is your ammunition
If life tears you apart heal your heart into one big fat muscle to crush your pain
Spite yourself into a continued existence if you have to
Anything is better than being dead
I wanted to say it in a nice way
Yeah defs gonna delete this one