Sistah I got troubles. Troubles beyond counting. So many troubles I can’t keep up with them and they hide until the right time to jump up and bite me on the brain hole. Sometimes life just gives you lemons and sometimes those lemons have flies in them or are unripe or all squished and split and you gotta just drink a cup of tap water and get on with.
Seeing a shrink ain’t help none because you spend the whole time avoiding eye contact because when you lock eyes they water up and you are sure they can see right into your soul. Then you walk outside, take a deep breath and the little adult sitting in your head that you keep around to say nice things to you comes out and says:
“You’re on your own kiddo.”
Being a twisted man mental is a full time job that pays maybe medium-good. Your brain is a car accelerating down a hill and you can’t steer or stop. The only thing you can really do is choose the soundtrack.
THE SKYDEKKERIX OST
Where Everybody Knows Your Name – Cheers: “Man I do want to go to a place where everyone knows my name, jesus, exactly that.”
Aquarius/Let The Sunshine In – The 5th Dimension: “Why can’t everyone just love each other? Or at least me?”
Don’t Stop Believin’ – Journey: “Keep at it big guy, you gonna be alright.”
The Kid – Ben Nichols: “Drink up sums up my thoughts exactly. This guy GETS me.”
The City Surf – Ink: “Maybe if I walk really slowly someone will ask me how I am feeling or at least buy me a drink.”
Compass – Jamie Lidell: “If life was a western I would probably be dead by now.”
Boot Camp – Soundgarden: “New life goal: become a drifter instead of just looking like one.”
With a Little Help From My Friends – Joe Cocker version: “All I really need right now is a montage of all my friends laughing and drinking beer is that okay?”
More Than a Feeling – Boston: “I do not give two fucks if people see me singing right now even though I cannot afford any kind of music player.”
Carry on My Wayward Son – Kansas: “If I could drive the car that I own I would go on a road trip.”
Brain Damage – Pink Floyd: “Hallucinating is actually kind of fun when you think about it medium-hard.”
Remember to cycle these songs in your head. Playing the same one over and over will give you a nervous tick and make you forget how to make human language. Having a brain thing is not that bad, it is much better than being stupid or ugly.