Short Fiction: Joystick

(It has been a while since I wrote any fiction so I thought I would try and get back in The Game. Go easy on me I have been real nervous lately.)


When the journalists asked me how I do it I did not want to tell them. I told them anyway because I like telling the truth. There was some philosopher who said you should always tell the truth and that you should not use words to manipulate people and I like that. I am also really bad at lying.

When the journalists asked me I said that I can fly if I have an erection.

They thought it was a joke at first. I was uncomfortable because I am not used to people laughing at things I say. I sat there and frowned and rubbed my face a bit. They still did not believe me which I guess was because I was not doing a good job of convincing them. I told them I would show them and a rose a few metres into the air and they all looked at my dick and saw that I was not lying.

They nicknamed me “The Flying Pervert” which I think was not fair at all. I am not a sexual deviant. I do not look through women’s’ windows as they are changing. I got in a conversation once about superpowers and every other guy said they would choose invisibility because they could look at naked women in the shower. I chose flight.

I woke up one morning and I could fly. It is a weird sensation. I kind of grab my crotch area with my brain tightly and lift myself upwards. It is a warm, pulling sensation but not in a sexual way. More like a friend pulling you along by the hand through a crowd to show you something interesting. Except the hand is my dick.

Steering is easy; I just pull myself along in the direction I want. I can go very fast but usually do not. I tend to bob around a bit as my concentration lapses. I like floating up stairs and over fences that I could easily climb.

I couldn’t decide whether to tell my family or my girlfriend first. I feel like both would be betrayed if I chose the other. I didn’t really want to tell my girlfriend first because she is not that into me but my family had been kind of mean to me and I thought that maybe they deserved a little distance from me. I decided to tell some of my friends first but I did not really know where they lived and when I asked them to come over they said they were busy.

I flew around the city for a while and people shouted and stared and I did some loops and they clapped a bit. I caused some car crashes accidentally and decided I should probably stop interfering with other people’s lives. I flew to my girlfriend’s house that night. I wore some tight underwear under loose jeans and a big jumper I had borrowed from my dad that almost went to my knees.

I knocked on her door and she answered and asked me what I was doing there. She seemed pretty pissed off. I thought to myself that I probably should have texted and organised to come over because I guess it wasn’t that big a deal on her end. I told her that I could fly and I showed her that I could fly. She said she was impressed but that she still did not want to have sex me that night. I said that I didn’t expect sex even though I had a little but I felt that it wasn’t that bad a lie because I wasn’t really manipulating her to do anything. She said she was going to bed because she had work early the next morning and I said ok and then I flew off.

I flew to my parents’ house even though it was late. There wasn’t anyone awake except for my mother who is a terrible sleeper. When I showed her that I could fly she said that she was very proud of me. She said there wasn’t any food in the house and that she wasn’t really prepared for visitors. I said that was ok because I could just fly home and then I did.

The journalists came the next day because someone had seen me fly home. They asked their questions and left already talking about the next newsworthy item. I made a coffee and sat down to relax but someone else knocked on the door. They were men from the military. They said they would give me a lot of money if I would let them run some tests on me. I said no because I have never really agreed with the military. They seemed to get pretty angry at that so I excused myself for a cigarette and then flew away.

I flew to my girlfriend’s house and asked if I could crash there for the night because the military was at my house and they were pissed at me. She said okay but she had some reading to do so maybe I could keep it down a little. When night fell she started getting ready to go out. I asked her where she was going and she said she had a party to go to. I asked if I could come and she paused and then said yeah it would probably be okay if I did.

We went to the party and it was a small, intimate house thing. My girlfriend told them my name and that I could fly if I had an erection. They laughed for five seconds and then started talking about things I did not understand. My girlfriend sat next to someone else and laughed at jokes I did not get and gave them playful little punches. I excused myself for a cigarette but no one seemed to notice. Halfway through the cigarette I decided I could not go back in. I flew into the air and kept rising. I tried to figure out things but it was hard because I had an erection.

I flew back down and landed on the roof and waited for the erection to pass. It did pretty quickly. I felt sadder than I thought I had felt ever in my life. I was probably only medium sad though. I played some nice music in my head and spoke to myself.

“Hey kiddo.”

“Hey kiddo, do not feel so down. You can fly. You can go anywhere that you want to right now.”

I would have said I wanted to go home if there was any place in the world that I felt was home. Instead I answered that I wanted to go anywhere but here. So I went back inside and I grabbed my bag and left.


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