Hej! Hej! Ushanka!

Alright I am all rogered up on Irish creme. Fuck the free world. Here is my fucking poem you bloodthirsty maggots.

It is called Hej! Hej! Ushanka! (I do not know what that means)

Fuck you teenage self,

Masturbating will not send you to hell,

It is required for good mental health,

You are not even religious, dickhead.


Fuck you teenage me,

Get a job, you’re so fucking lazy,

It is no excuse that you are crazy,

Bipolar is a manageable illness, fucktard.


Fuck you teen Sam again,

Try and get a fucking girlfriend,

And get out of the emo trend,

You do not even have the guts to dye your hair.


Fuck you me when I was small,

Put down that Jack Daniels, pick up a ball,

You are not bad at sports at all,

Plus dungeons and dragons will never be cool.


Fuck you teenage Sam life isn’t that bad,

When you grow up your life will be rad,

Actually you’ll spend most of your time drunk and sad,

Then you’ll make a dang fool of yourself on a shitty blog.


I am not even embarrassed by this.

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