Writer’s Paraphernalia

Ok no more erotic fiction I’m going to talk about one of the myths of writing. That is you have to have weird and unique objects around you.

A friend of mine wanted to be a writer so they went and got themselves a “Writers Hat”. This pisses me off more than a little. Writers do not need specific hats. Rarely do they need hats at all. If you’re spending most of your time out in the sun then usually you are writing in the wrong place. I have a hat that could be considered a writers hat. It is an old english style cap. I did not buy this because I thought I needed it to be a better writer. I bought it because the experiences I’ve had with people who wear baseball caps or akubras have turned me off them completely. Style does not come in to writing. What you wear will not make you better at it. If you like baseball caps then go ahead and wear one. If you wear a bowler cap because you think it makes you look like a writer…well it doesn’t. You look like an idiot.

Pipes. There is a myth that writers smoke a lot. This is stupid. Every profession has people who smoke a lot. This is because there are a lot of people who smoke a lot. Writing doesn’t come into it. I smoke a pipe. This is because cigarettes taste like dirt. If I thought for one second that you needed to smoke a pipe to be a proper writer then I would choose a new career. I have plenty of friends who are much better writers than me who do not smoke at all. No matter how much I destroy my lungs it will not make me better than them. It will just make my life shorter.

The writers desk. Think of a scene. In it a tortured but handsome writer sits at an ornate wooden desk, huddled over a typewriter in a dark room. There are probably some people who write like this, but not many. The desk at which you sit does not affect your writing. Most writers will sit at a laptop in a normally lit room. Once you start writing your environment doesn’t really come into it. I am building myself a writers desk. A big heavy wooden one. I do not need it. I am building it because I enjoy the building process. Sure I’ll write at it, but not in a dark room and not with a type-writer.

So, to sum it all up, the only thing you need to write is a brain and hands. If you like to collect cool things then do it, just don’t think it makes you a better writer.

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