Cusses

Waddup you sick fucks here it’s me again with another blog post for my like 3 followers and several bots from China and Uruguay. This one’s got hella fuckwords in it so remember to share it with your grandma, I aint care what she thinks of me.

 

Hospitality is the ultimate equaliser. It is the perfect job to have if you want to practice getting yelled at by people from any walk of life. As such, it is a draw for anyone who is naturally skilled at people being angry with them for no good reason whatsoever. Immigrants.

 

With the high staff turnover of a busy inner city café with a hefty dose of workplace politics, I have come into contact with casual workers from many exotic places, and have engaged in a classic Australian pastime with each. Trading swear words in different languages.

 

So if you’re ever stuck for truly creative cursive expressions to impress your foreign colleagues, I made you a little list of my favourites for them to enjoy. Also sorry if I sounded mean in that first paragraph, it’s as hot as the sun in my studio and the delete button is for cowards.

 

I care deeply about what your grandmother thinks of me.

 

10 Medium Grade (Australian Standard) Swears to teach your Brazilian/Korean Hospitality Coworkers:

 

Wanker – Obvious, but there’s a chance they haven’t encountered it and it’ll make em a hit at parties

 

Fuckstick – Much more creative way of calling someone a dick

 

Fucknuts – Hilarious

 

Dipshit – Not sure what this one actually means but I don’t think anyone does

 

Numbnuts – Light, so good for upmarket company

 

Little Shit – Kid friendly!

 

Pissfarting Around – Very utilitarian in a hospitality setting

 

Shit for Brains – One of the top 3 worst things for a brain to be made out of

 

Dribbling Shit – Might be hard to convey the meaning of this one but sounds great with an accent

 

Fuckwit – Gold standard curse, classic f-bomb plus old school english. Shoots from your mouth like a .303 round at a 50-metre target. Anger and frustration focussed in a word with the cadence of a stockwhip crack. Could fucken say it all day

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: