Drinking Game

I feel like I do not drink enough. I have a lot of problems, I should drink more. I am the kind of guy who should just be constantly smelling of whiskey. Whiskey needs to flow through my veins, warming my cells and making them turgid and easy to have sex with. Whiskey needs to be added to every drink. There is nothing else.

I am playing a game now. A drinking game. The drinking game is called alcoholism.

Everytime someone asks me what music I listen to and I do not know what to answer.

Take a drink.

If I answer with a question.

Take a drink.

Everytime a I hold my breath while walking through a tunnel.

Take a drink.

Every time I rest my head against a wall to be more cinematic.

Take a drink.

Everytime I steel up and decide to keep fighting instead of moping about.

Take a drink.

If this happens several times during one walk in the rain.

Drain glass.

Everytime I blame morning throw ups on “Too much phlegm”.

Take a drink.

Throw up again.

Everytime I induce throw ups so I will not have to throw up in front of people.

Take a drink.

Oh shit that drink made me feel sick again.

Throw up.


Wait I think I am alright.

Brush teeth.

Shit the fumes from the toothpaste are making me feel sick.

This is the worst.

Drink more.

Every time I am on the train home and I am imagining credits rolling down the screen.

Actually that was pretty cool.

That is what you said last time.

Yeah shutup I am drinking.

Every time someone asks me if I am alright instead of saying “Are you happy with your current electricity provider?”

Take a drink.

Wait you should probably answer the phone instead of making tears into it.

Drain glass.

Every time I think I am probably smarter than everyone I am talking to.

Take a drink.

Remember you are terrible.

Do I have enough to buy this bottle of alcohol?

Shit how do I have only five dollars in my account I do not  even have a phone plan or any expenses whatsoever.

Drink leftover Summers in the fridge.

Oh god these are terrible I am getting the heaves.

Fuck it I did not even want that grilled cheese in my stomach anyway.

Drain beer in one go.

Throw up.

Oh god it is still cold.

Soft drink is for girls.

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