Skydekkerix

So a while back my older brother and I had watched a lot of Supernatural and decided we were going to go on a road trip. It was going to be awesome. We would pull into a sleepy little town, stay in a shitty motel and then hit the bar where we would pull random chicks and then maybe fight some ghosts. We were going to be a couple of tough men on the open road, grow beards and drink straight whiskey. It was mid way through the year, we had both moved back into our parents place until we could organise some new accomodation.

We started planning about three days before we left. We bought a tonne of canned soup and tents. We went to buy sleeping bags and realised they were hell of expensive. I convinced my brother that we didn’t need the expensive -5 degree sleeping bags because it was Australia. If it got cold we would just throw some blankets over ourselves. By the time we had bought everything it was the night before we had to leave. We hadn’t organised a route or anything. We just planned to go inland.

Our mother planned the route for us on google maps and printed it out for us. Already it was going badly. Bad-arse road-tripping bros do not get their mothers to plan road trips for them. We woke up at four in the morning. My brother stepped outside the little room my parents had set up for us in the shed. He stopped. He came back in the room.

“There is a rat out there.” He said.

“Is it moving?” I asked.

“I don’t think so.”

“It’s probably dead. Just kick it aside.”

“What if it’s alive?”

“How big is it?”

My brother held out his hands to indicate the size.

“You sure it’s not a possum?”

“No it’s definitely a rat. Can you come and get rid of it for me?”

“What?”

“Just come and kick it outside or something.”

“Jesus Christ. You are such a girl.”

I got up, put some  shoes on and walked over to the rat. It was average sized. I kicked it and it rolled under my mothers car.

We walked inside and our mother was already up worrying about us. She made us coffees and sent us away with a hug. It was not going well already. Instead of reclaiming my masculinity I was losing more of it. I hadn’t thought it was possible. We got to the car and realised we had no music. We quickly rushed and burnt about ten cd’s.

It was about seven when we left. We had planned to leave with the sun rise, while nobody was awake. The house was bustling by the time we left. We screamed out of Lowood in my brother’s black hyandai elantra. Shit was packed up to my knees in the front. My legs were already asleep. I couldn’t feel where they were wet from the water bottle leaking onto them. We had eight hours of driving ahead of us until we stopped. Two weeks to go to towns and drink and pick up girls. I was already asleep by the time we hit the first McDonalds, about twenty minutes away.