Sniper Heroes

Hello everyone, how are you? Not so good? Ain’t that the truth.

Today my friend asked me to write about super heroes after a rant about how he could kill them all with a sniper rifle. So I am going to answer the question “Can super heroes actually be killed by a decent sniper?”.

Answer is no. Hell no. I will give you some examples and show you why.

Superman. This is obvious. No. He is invulnerable to bullets. You may ask the question “What about Kryptonite bullets?”. You can’t turn kryptonite into bullets. It is some weird crystal. Try to shoot it and it will just shatter and spray out the gun like paintballs out of every skirmish gun ever used because I seem to pick up the only broken one and then I don’t have fun because all I do is hide like some jumpy kid out of a World War 2 film. Also he is faster than bullets.

Spiderman. Again no. He may not be as ridiculous over-powered and boring as super man but still no. First he has spider sense. I don’t know if spiders have magic brains that can tell when danger is about to happen but Spiderman does. Set up a good position and firing line to kill him and he will just say “Fuck that.” and not go there. And most of the time he is swinging at ridiculous speeds in all different directions. Sniper rifles aren’t designed to hit a small swinging target. You may say “But I hit moving targets all the time on COD.” Well, get a life.

Batman. This one is a little more difficult because his only power is being rich. Still no. Batman drives a tank for one. You can’t kill a tank with a sniper rifle. Also Batman doesn’t go into things with the same retarded recklessness as most super heroes. He investigates and sets up the situation so it will be in his favour. Everyone wants to kill him so he is completely paranoid about everything. If someone is going to try some shit like that he will probably know about it. So good luck trying to find him.

I’m sure there are plenty of other heroes I can mention but I don’t want to make this post too long. Basically super heroes are designed in a way that they can’t be killed that easily, otherwise it would make for very short and boring comic books.

Same rules, first commenter choose next topic or I rant about writing or some shit.

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