I get to talk about what I want today! So I will talk about a series of stupid Game of Thrones dreams I’ve been having. I’m sitting on a hat trick at the moment and I haven’t read or watched the series in ages. Get ready for a Game of Groans. (I should write for MAD magazine and then kill myself)

Alright first one. I am me. It is a nightmare already. I am going to be king. My brother says something about me being king “for now” and intense music starts playing. I scold him for using intense music because it sounds like he is going to betray me. Then I take a wander around a really nice garden with some fish in a pool. Then Robert Baratheon (played very well by Mark Addy) strolls up and I hug him because he is my dad and I want to be a good king and make him proud. The end, no moral.

Ok second one. This time I am Robert Baratheon (played by Mark Addy). I am flying around a big, multi-directional suspension bridge in a silver hatchback smashing different knight’s heads in with a short and unweildy hammer. Then I decide to kill Jaime Lannister in my best english accent. I head over to where he and Cersei are sitting on a bench reading a story. EXCEPT JAIME IS A LITTLE KID. I can’t kill a little kid, mainly because he is too fast for me, so I lay me head down on the bench at look at the camera and say (in my best english accent) “crush mah head in will ya”. So then I stand up and crush my own head in with a hammer. This is not the most retarded one either.

Third one, and easily the worst. I was sleeping on my friends floor after drinking a whole bottle of port. After this one I woke up and had to have a smoke and a good think about life and what it meant to me. It shook me up something rotten. Ok here we go. Urgh. Me and everyone in the house at the time, which was about five other people, were all lying on a giant mattress in a dark room. Bad start. Now here is the fucked up thing, we were all connected to some hive mind thing by invisible green tendrils. And we were controlling each others bodies. This is easily the weirdest thing I have ever felt. And I hallucinate regularly. So anyway my friends control my body so I am playing “Chopsticks” on a tiny piano. They all crack up laughing. Now you may be wondering where GoT comes into this. Be prepared, what follows will make your life slightly more retarded. Ned Stark then yells at us for laughing because the king has just died and we should all be in mourning because we are all his wife.

I need a new subconcious.

(First commenter chooses tomorrows topic or you get more of this crap)


  1. kyle says:

    do you think being a complete nut bar helps or hinders your writing process?

  2. skydekkerix says:

    I will answer that in tomorrow’s post. Unless you wanted the short answer.

  3. It starts with 'Donald' and rhymes with 'Donald' says:

    I hadn’t read this one.

    Those are some amazing dreams.
    Mine are mostly about sex or the weather.

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