Fuck you
If you’re going to walk slowly don’t do it in the middle of the damn footpath so I can’t walk past without walking at a weird pace and convincing you I’m a fucking serial killer.
Fuck you
Don’t walk right behind me on the stairs I have big feet and can barely fit each step as it is and the noise of you is setting me on edge and making me kick my heels up even more and increasing my chance of fucking braining myself.
Fuck you
For smoking rank cigarettes and hosing out donut smelling vape on a crowded footpath I know I don’t have my kid with me right now but if I did you’d be killing him and I gotta push the stroller through a different fucking suburb just to avoid you.
Fuck you
For trying to lock eye contact with me and force me, through the immutable laws of politeness and common human decency, to have a conversation about buying raffle tickets for some made up fucking charity that is most definitely corrupt which I know because last time I thought I was buying a single ticket and got roped into a sixty buck a month payment plan and I know I’m doing financially better these days but it’s the fucking principle.
Fuck you
For screaming the c-bomb at the world while walking through the busy intersection and punching a bus that almost ran you over. I know you probably had a hard life and are mentally ill but I had a hard life and I’m mentally ill and I’m just here trying to buy my fucking groceries.
Fuck you
For pushing in front of me to grab a god damn basket like we’re fighting for bottles of water in a post-apocalyptic wasteland we’ve all got places to be and believe me I’d rather be anywhere else than in this damn grocery store listening to this damn song dealing with pushy fuckers like you stealing my nice clean basket when there’s fucking sixty of them.
Fuck you me,
For forgetting your medication you’ve been doing this for nearly two decades and you should damn well know one night of bad sleep without them sends you into a murderous rage you have a toddler and three damn jobs and you can’t afford to be mentally ill because you have a mountain of shit to do and we ran out of fucking
Milk.
Skydekkerix 