Bit of context for this: Blippi is a youtube kids presenter who makes learning videos and songs for toddlers whose parents just need the dang kid to stop trying to grab the sharp knives for five fucking seconds so I can chop the carrots and get dinner done early so we actually have time to give the kid a bath and not get to sleep at past midnight cos we both gotta work big shifts tomorrow where was I. Oh yeah, We Don’t Like Him. Son likes the songs but I forgive him for that because he aint been alive long enough for me to introduce him to doom metal yet.
Here is a poem I wrote about love and parenting and I definitely do not condone like fucking anything I aint never touched a person in anger and if someone even like balls their fist near me I give em ten dollars and run the fuck away so this is just a funny little poem and nobody needs to sue anybody please and thank you.
Love poem between parents
Kill Blippi with me
Let’s drop our lives like sacks of coal
A heavy thud to punctuate
Our love
Our fear
Our shared lives and deaths
Let’s spend our emergency funds
On plane tickets to the states
Leave the kid with the grandparents
Who so desperately wanted him
LA is probably easy to find guns in
Let’s hunt like leopards
Hide in trees lithe and evil
Rejoice in blood and gore and unholy union
Drink and bathe in fear and glee
Make the universe an ever-shortening line
Between predators and prey
Become one person in two bodies
One violent purpose
Blippi is the concrete wall of all that is ill with the world
And we a messiah wrecking ball crane with angry eyes
Singing a toddler’s song with rasping death metal scream
Blippi is all of our loss and we are the raging man come monster
With nothing left to lose
Blippi has replaced
Any drip of animosity between us
Any wrongs and ill-fitting parts
We are one knife, one sword, one cannon
Pointed at the heart of nemesis
On another note the kid was doing the bulldozer dance
From the Blippi one hour compilation of songs
He was doing all the actions while stomping around the room
I wasn’t quick enough to get a video
But I will put it on
And get him to show it to you when you get home
It was very cute
Skydekkerix 